The Sufferable Ass » the-rules http://www.sufferableass.com Quietly, lovingly, judging you Wed, 01 Dec 2010 05:27:55 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ Rules for Startups… from the user’s perspective http://www.sufferableass.com/2008/03/09/rules-for-startups-from-the-users-perspective/ http://www.sufferableass.com/2008/03/09/rules-for-startups-from-the-users-perspective/#comments Mon, 10 Mar 2008 06:26:01 +0000 The Ass http://www.sufferableass.com/2008/03/09/rules-for-startups-from-the-users-perspective/ After reading Jason Calacanis, Michael Arrington, and Mark Cuban’s so-called rules for startups, I figured we’d had just about enough out of the big boys. Here follows the Sufferable Ass’s rules for startups from the user perspective. Heed them or perish.

  • Dude, if you’ve got a product, don’t make me pay for it. I mean, Google gives away free email. You think I’m going to pay for whatever lame ass thing you’ve got? Please. Make it free or move on.
  • Definitely lose a vowel or two in your domain name. It makes typing your URL quicker, and I really just want to get in, try your service, and get away as fast as possible.
  • Oh, and lose the invitation beta thing. I just want to use your damn website. I know it’s all built out in there, and all you’re doing is stalling until you can line your pockets with VC money, so quit playing coy. Just open up the damn site.
  • I know more about what you’re trying to do and what kinds of challenges you’re dealing with than you do. When you screw up, and you certainly will because you’re not effing Bill Jobs or Steve Gates, make sure you’ve got a forum or an email address or something where I can give you shit for it. It’s the only way you’ll learn.
  • Oh, and don’t ask me to Digg your company blog post about your stupid startup. So far I haven’t seen shit from you, so why should I give you free publicity?
  • Oh, and speaking of your blog: lose it. You’re not as interesting as you think you are. The only thing I care less about than your stupid startup idea is you writing about your stupid startup idea. And if you’re “enhancing” your blog with a podcast, I will puke. Stop it, and get back to coding, monkey boy. If you want to be a writer, call fucking Random House.
  • NEVER EVER EVER let your website go down, or have “scheduled maintenance.” You are providing a service. Irregardless of whether I’m paying for it or not—or even whether I’m using it at the time—what right do you have to suddenly withdraw the use of the service from me? Fuck you. If you can’t build the proper infrastructure to support an unlimited number of users of your site, maybe you’d be better off programming my order into the register at Burgerz World. Fucking amateurs.
]]> http://www.sufferableass.com/2008/03/09/rules-for-startups-from-the-users-perspective/feed/ 0 Yoda’s Rule http://www.sufferableass.com/2006/03/04/yodas-rule/ http://www.sufferableass.com/2006/03/04/yodas-rule/#comments Sat, 04 Mar 2006 17:48:06 +0000 The Ass http://www.sufferableass.com/?p=29 by http://www.worth1000.com/stories/stats.asp?uid=27100&display=photoshopDo or do not; there is no “try.”

Put a pencil in your hand. Now, try to put the pencil down.

One of two things just happened: You were successful or you weren’t. Either you put the pencil down or you didn’t. The action of “trying” doesn’t really exist. Except in rugby.

If you tell someone that you’re going to “try” to do something, what they hear is that you “will” do that thing. After all, the definition of “try” is to make an effort to accomplish a task. The result of the “try” is either success or failure.

When I tell you that I will try to do something, I leave myself wiggle room; I give myself permission to fail. I’d rather be bold enough and honest enough to state my intention to do something or not, and to deal with the outcomes of my efforts.

This was inspired by Seth, although I agree with Jim.

]]> http://www.sufferableass.com/2006/03/04/yodas-rule/feed/ 0 Don’t Fall In Love With Potential http://www.sufferableass.com/2006/02/22/dont-fall-in-love-with-potential/ http://www.sufferableass.com/2006/02/22/dont-fall-in-love-with-potential/#comments Thu, 23 Feb 2006 07:48:40 +0000 The Ass http://www.sufferableass.com/?p=26 Jesus, I friggin’ love Hugh MacLeod.

Everybodysick Of

You know what, Hugh? I’m sick of my great potential. People have been telling me my whole life that I’ve got such great potential, boy, and I’m really going to do wonderful things… one of these days. It’s a narrative that I’ve bought into, too, because it’s a hell of a lot easier to tell that story than to actually produce anything.

I’ve stayed with girlfriends because they had potential and I’ve worked for companies that had a lot of potential and I’ve struggled with projects for far too long because they had such sweet, tantalizing, beautiful potential.

But the fact is that potential doesn’t mean shit. Potential is energy coiled, motion conserved, action delayed. Potential could sit there for the rest of eternity for all it cares, and never move, and that’s what it asks you to ignore.

So Rule #2: Don’t fall in love with potential. Potential hasn’t happened.

I’m tired of my fucking potential. I’m tired of letting potential pass as a substitute for accomplishment. I’m tired of being in the habit of thinking in the future tense; “I will do this;” “I’m going to do that.” God grant me the strength to do, and spare me from making the lame excuse of getting-ready-to-do.

]]> http://www.sufferableass.com/2006/02/22/dont-fall-in-love-with-potential/feed/ 2 The One-Percent Rule http://www.sufferableass.com/2006/01/24/rule-1-the-one-percent-rule/ http://www.sufferableass.com/2006/01/24/rule-1-the-one-percent-rule/#comments Tue, 24 Jan 2006 08:32:00 +0000 The Ass http://www.sufferableass.com/?p=10 Flippingoff
Everyone speaks – at the minimum – one percent of truth.
No matter what anyone tells you, at least one percent of it is true. No matter if it’s coming from your worst enemy, or the biggest idiot you know, if you listen closely and carefully, you will be able to uncover a grain of truth in any statement.

Knowing that this rule is true forces you to pay attention to what a person is telling you, to listen deeply and attentively to even the most hostile or manipulative of interlocutors. Because whatever they say will hold truth for you, an opportunity to learn and grow, and you must never miss a moment to hear it.

In practicing this rule, I have come to understand that truth is not binary. Rarely are statements either totally false or totally true. There is always nuance. Truth is like the volume dial on your stereo; it can be all the way down at one percent (barely audible, but still there) or full blast or anywhere in between.

Acknowledging the small grain of truth in what others are saying is a vital step in gaining inner wisdom, and to keep from killing everyone you come in contact with.

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